I finished a short story recently and, honestly, I have no idea how I feel about it. Jorge McGregory: Obey has a lot of themes in it that I, personally, wasn't sure that I could even write. But as a thriller writer, you're always surprising yourself, right?
Let's talk about the world. A fantasy world where the main foundation is religion. This helps readers form their opinions right from the start. The nation that Jorge lives in is built on the sole living existence of The Tree, which is pretty much the source of power for the whole world.
There are two main religions, but I'm sure that there are more in different nations, but I haven't covered anything beyond this current story. Having religion is having a social status in this world. If you have a high role in your set religion, then you have a high role in society. And the parents of Jorge had that specifically.
Now, on to the characters. Jorge, I love him. He is such an emotional character, but he's so vulnerable to painful emotions which make it difficult for him to trust. He is patient, but he hated his life. He is smart, but he couldn't escape. He is loving, but only when he needs to be. He loves his religion, more than anything. His religion is the only thing keeping him alive.
Iggy Jewel, Jorge's mother, is smart and clever. She thinks outside of the box on how to catch her enemies and she is very good at enticing her prey. She's very beautiful and kind, which makes her easier to approach and she absolutely adores her religion. After all, she would do anything for it.
Luke McGregory, Jorge's father, is kind, loving, and strong. He loves his son with all of his heart, but a part of him is dripping with guilt and hatred. His outward appearance reflects his personality as well as his attitude towards life. Just like Iggy, he loves his religion, just as much as he loves Jorge.
Next, let's talk about the theme. I wanted to explore the mental boundaries of an obedient child. For example, how would a seven-year-old react to their parents getting a divorce? Would they understand the depth of the situation? What would their initial reaction be to the situation? Would the child choose a parent over the other?
There are so many possible questions and outcomes to what looks like a simple situation. And that single situation could change drastically depending on if the child was older or younger or even if we looked at the situation through the eyes of the parent.
That's what I want to explore.
I want to explore the deeper end of the spectrum of what many people might think 'are good and positive messages'. That way, if I am able to show others how powerful small, simple words are then maybe, just maybe, more people would think before they speak.
Now, let me go back to the very beginning and answer the question: "What is it about the story that you're uncertain about?"
I'm uncertain about my approach that I took. The concept is really intriguing and the characters are life-like, but the story as a whole is very... unsettling. Being the first draft, I know it'll get better in the future, I understand that. Yet, I wrote it as a thriller. Would the message I'm trying to convey be heard through a genre that is already hard to understand? Was it wise for me to put a good amount of dark themes into the story? How would the readers connect with the characters? Would they only feel pity for one of them or all of them?
As a thriller writer, these are the questions that I have to keep in mind. I don't want to scare off my audience, but then again, I don't want them to necessarily enjoy the journey either.
This story was a short story. It is currently around 5,000 words long and is undergoing first draft beta reading by my family. I AM participating in Camp NaNoWriMo this year, I just have to finish summer school (which I'm planning on finishing this week).
Thank you for reading and I hope you have a pleasurable day!
I am the Smol Scribble. I came to realize that, even though the first drafts of books aren't perfect, they are the closest to my heart...
The Ancient Past of the Scribbler
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