Welcome back, Twisters!
It’s been a while since I last did a blog post (a while is an understatement) but I’m back and I’m back with a bang!
This is all about The Obligatory Family Friend.
This is the friend, more like an acquaintance for me, that I actually despise. Like. I hate this. This is where some random kid walks in and then your entire family loves them except you.
Let me explain. When you have a guy that’s friends with everyone but you, you are under an unspoken family obligation to befriend this individual. And since I was a fun, happy, naive young child, I was all for it. Because why not? If everyone is friends with him, then why can’t I be friends with him? And it’s perfectly fine for you to be friends with this individual. However, you never should befriend a guy under family obligation if he is shy, clingy, and sheltered.
I befriended this guy and he was fine at first. He was shy so we didn’t really talk a lot. I would say ‘hello’, he would say ‘hello’, and that would basically be the extent of our interactions. But, my family liked him so much he would come over here and there throughout the week. Yet, the only person who would entertain him was either me and/or Charisma. And I cannot express how much that aggravated me. My family was friends with him first, yet they couldn’t spend time with him and I had to take their place in being his friend, that just made me feel a little weird. Because they were always busy, I had to talk to this guy in place of them. Since he didn't really have any conversations with me, he basically became a One Topic Friend, which I didn't need a repeat of.
Every other day this Obligatory Family Friend would come over and Every. Single. Time. I had to host. I didn’t want that. I didn’t like that. I didn’t appreciate it. Whenever we went to an activity, he would come and stay around us. Whenever we went to a church event, he would stay with us. Whenever we were at work, he would spend his free time with us. The only time I was free was at school, but since school was at home, all he had to do was ask my mother to come over and, since she thought he was a good kid, she always. Said. Yes.
I can’t even express how much this aggravates me. It’s not even the person that aggravates me. It’s what he did. The clinginess is what got to me. I couldn’t stand him always coming to me and just existing around me and not putting any effort into making conversation with me. It made me feel anxious and extremely uncomfortable. I remember telling this to him and, because I expressed my feelings, I was scolded. So, not only could I not share my feelings on how I felt with him, I needed to keep it to myself and proceed to be his friend.
It was, overall, very frustrating.
But let’s talk about facts.
The Obligatory Family Friend | Statistics
The Obligatory Family Friend can either go two ways—they can be really good or, just, ‘nope’. But it’s their personality and their relationship with each of your family that really ices the cake.
The thing that I should have done with this individual would have opened myself partway, find some common ground (enough to create a better conversation), then shared more of myself and, overall, we would have a better friendship.
The Obligatory Family Friend | The Tricky Part
The further we go into any of these relationships, know that the more involved you are with the individual, the more your efforts reflect the result of the relationship.
I didn't know that when I was younger and I wish I had. But that's what life is! A learning experience. So my advice for you is to always take an Obligatory Family Friend slowly, much more slowly than normal friends. Just to be safe.
Obviously, this isn't the end of my amazing adventures with males, so I'll keep you all updated in part 3!
Until Next Time, My Friends.... Adieu
Bianca has finally appeared on the battle field and is ready to begin the fight!
But, no seriously, it has been way to long. I don't even remember the last time I wrote on this particular side of the blog. I have forgotten the joy that I have felt when writing blog posts, so I'm very grateful that I'm back at it again. As you may already know, we moved to a different state this past summer and it has been absolutely amazing. The only hard part is that I haven't figured out my daily schedule, as I have decided not to do school this semester (but that is an entirely different blog post on it's own -- it's a really big topic). With that being said, I have been trying to keep my wits about me and explore new opportunities and I am incredibly excited to keep going with that.
Okay, so here's the thing. Guys, dudes, men, things, I don't know what you call them, but they are out there and they come in all shapes and sizes and brains. Emphasis on the 'brain' part too.
As long as I can remember, I have always wanted a guy friend. Just a friend. Not a boyfriend. Not a partner. Just a person that was male that I could hangout with and just enjoy my time with.
I thought that was a pretty simple request, but I was dead wrong.
I haven't had a guy friend since I was in kindegarten. Since I have been virtually schooled (homeschooled, basically) my entire life, I don't get to see people very often and when I do, it's only for a field trip or an outing. So I could only make friends with the people at my church, since I saw them on a regular basis.
In my Sunday School classes, though, there was sometimes hardly any or none at all. And since I was a kid then, they were a friend, but I didn't see them outside of church so I wasn't sure if I classified them as a 'friend-friend'.
When I turned ten, that's when the boys started coming and so I would see more of them and start making conversation, but I'm not looking for anything by this point. Conversation is conversation and if I knew past me well enough, I knew that she loved to talk. So it was easy to talk to them. Of course I was thinking that this guy was cuter than the other, but I wasn't going to throw myself in front of them and proclaim my true love that I had only truely understood just moments ago.
No. Not at all.
Eleven through thirteen is when things get weird. Girls are claiming guys that they like and they're giggling in their little packs on who they want to hang out with like it's going to affect their future and if they don't talk behind these boys backs, they aren't going to get a kiss from them or something. It's really weird. I still just want a friend. I mean, I guess I was doing the same thing that the girls were doing but on a different level because I know that real life guys had NOTHING on the fictional characters that I saw dancing with light sabers and solving mysteries on the big screen.
Fictional characters > Real life guys. (100% scientifically proven)
But something started happening when I was thirteen. I made a friend. And it was a boy too. I met him during an online school activity and he was the same age as me, so I thought, 'Heck yeah.' I met him in person when we were talking this math test thing and it was cool! He and I talked about games and school, but mostly games.
And then some more games.
And then some more games.
And then some more.
What was happening again? Like, didn't I just get a friend? Of course at in our household we like to tease each other, but everyone was hardcore teasing me that I liked-liked this boy, which I didn't.
I tried talking about other topics with him but he would always revert back to games and the games that he talked about, I didn't even like very much, but I have this blessing gift (it really is a blessing) that I can stay interested and listen to whatever a person is saying. Whether it be politics, science, mathematics, environmental issues, basically anything. If you're passionate about it, that's all I ask and I don't mind listening.
That's when I discovered something. That there are such things as a
One Topic Friend (rather an acquaintance, but for the sake of a catchy title, it is a 'friend').
One Topic Friend | What It Is
One Topic Friends are the worst and I apologize if you have one.
Unless they are really cool and they don't mind talking about other things.
Than you have a real friend and not a OTF.
Let me establish some boundaries before I dive deep into what an OTF is.
There is a pattern into meeting a new person. You exchange 'hellos' (Greetings), you talk about the weather or how their day has been (Acquaintance), you talk about what happened last week and what they have planned for this week, as well as the occasional Insight-For-Advice section that you add in (Friend), and, lastly, you can talk about boys (or girls), bad eating habits, and strange topics like, I don't know, toilets or feet fungus (Close Friend and/or Best Friend) to said person.
Greeter. Acquaintance. Friend. Close/Best Friend.
These are the four stages I have created to know the relationship that I am with any given person. A OTF, however, is inbetween the Acquaintance Stage and the Friend Stage. In my opinion, there should never be a stage between the two. Never. Because if there is, there is no going back.
Since I was a young girl and I was extremely polite, I didn't fully understand what was happening until I came across the other OTF. This OTF wasn't as bad, I could throw in another topic or two, but it immediately was back again with that specific topic.
When you're friends with an OTF, you are obligated by the process to talk with them, since you are more than just an acquaintance. If you see them in the halls, at the grocery store, or at the gym, under this unsaid 'Rules For Life' board, you have to go and talk to them. If you pretend to ignore them, like pretending that you didn't see or hear them or making sure you don't make eye contact, etc. This won't stop them. Instead, they will take the first step and come up to talk to you. By societal reasons, they should always start with a 'hello' and 'how are you' and then ask 'how has your day been so far' etc. A common and light hearted entry to a conversation.
Next, after they have asked and you have responded, two things should happen next. Either you ask them the same questions, to establish a connection on both sides, or they will begin immediately with the topic that seems to captivate their only interest.
You may try to change the subject, but it normally doesn't work, so (in my case) you just listen polietly to what they have to say and inject comments and opinions, if they see fit to stop speaking.
Now, for me, since I was polite, cute, nice, AND I liked the general topic that they were speaking about (not the subtopics, but there is always a chance to lead the conversation to a subtopic that you enjoy, only if it is in the main topic), all of those things qualified me for one thing.
Love. (Or like-like)
His family knew, my family knew, I knew, he knew, everyone knew. He liked me. Really liked me.
And yes, if the OTF doesn't see you as just a friend, they will see you as a potential lover. It is neither pleasant nor fun, especially if you don't see them in that kind of way.
I didn't particularly enjoy this time, especially since the teasing from my family intensified (Charisma was nice enough not to tease me though), so I was doing my best to lower the friend stage from an OTF to an Acquaintance, which in the end worked.
OTF | The Reverse
Unfortunately, there is a reverse effect to this. It doesn't happen intentionally and it can be avoided, but only if the other party is willing.
There is a chance where you can become the OTF.
It's an awful thing, but let me share an example:
"Hey Alex!" I walked over and sat next to him at the counter.
I HAVE HAD THESE KIND OF CONVERSATIONS FOR YEARS AND I STILL CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHY.
If you want me to talk to you THEN RESPOND WITH ACTUAL ANSWERS MY FRIEND. One long answer will give me enough time to think of a relevant and awe-inspiring response that will give us time to have an actual legit discussion about anything.
In this case, since you want to extend the hand of friendship, you begin the conversation with the normal Greeter response as well as Acquaintanceship responses and you latch onto a topic that you know they are interested in.
Yet if they give these kinds of responses, who is considered the OTF? Unfortunately you.
But any good relationship, no matter which stage, should have an equal balance of communication, understanding, and silence (this depends on the person, but it's sometimes nice to just sit there in silence).
To save the eyes of my readers, I am going to continue this in another post. Thank you so much for reading so far and I hope that you will join me for Part 2, coming in a couple of weeks.
Until Next Time... Adieu
And you know what that means?
Less frequent blog updates! (Even though those already existed in summer...)
That's not going to happen this year.
This year, I'm going to plan what to post, when to post, etc. And I'm going to be SUPER PRODUCTIVE AND AWESOME AND YES. THIS WILL HAPPEN.
But let's talk about school and what courses I've got this semester.
| || |
Hmm... What else about me... I want to make people happy. If I find out they're sad for ANY reason at all, I will immediately contact them and strike a conversation to make them happy. Being sad is a terrible thing. And I don't like bullying.
I think that's it. But I will open myself more to all of you. You have helped me grow not only as a person, but as a warrior elf princess (because we're all royalty).
Thank you everyone for what you do!
Watashi wa Bianca desu. Watashi wa yunīku desu.
(I am Bianca, and I am unique.)
Anyways, because I haven't posted ANYTHING this week, I'm going to do a blog post on what's happened this week that I could've done a post on.
And we may begin!
September 23rd, 2015 was the first day of Autumn! Fall is officially here! :D Now the leaves can legally fall, the days can get colder, Halloween is coming (I care for Halloween only for dressing up and the candy), Thanksgiving is coming, and NaNoWriMo is on it's way! :3
We can do a belated happy dance! XD
What's your favorite part of fall? Is fall your favorite season?
Tell us in the comments (though this isn't the end of the post...)!
September 21st, 2015 was International Day of Peace according to all of the calendars in my home. Yeah! I kinda expected a Google Doodle, but that didn't happen.
Anyways, finding (or re-finding) out that there was an International Day of Peace was really cool! And I wanted to do a post on how awesome that there was a day of Peace (though all days should be peaceful), but I didn't get around to do that. Which I super sorry about!
Does anyone know when the next International Day of Peace is? Is it always on September 21st, or is it always on the 3rd Monday of September?
So (with my understanding) this is going to be her first YA novel. I'm so excited to read it! The cover is just gorgeous, the font is unbelievable and the dress and shoes are really pretty (but the back of the dress could be less... revealing).
Yeah, that's the exciting news. :3
So! Tell me (or us...) in the comments what your favorite holiday (or random day; ex: hat day, dog day, etc.) is, what your favorite YA fairy-tale novel is, and/or what your favorite season is!
I'm totally and utterly speechless. I don't know how to describe this movie!
:3 This movie is on my "I Need to Own" list. It's at the top! There were so many awesome parts!!!! Bianca and I watched the English version of this movie. I super love it. I can imagine no better version of that movie. It is mind blowing! The... the... I just don't know how to explain it! Some things in the movie were "I knew that!", but then other parts were like "OH MY GOODNESS!!!! WHAT JUST HAPPENED THERE?!!?!?!". It was GREAT!!!
Patema Inverted - 5 stars
Would recommend this to everyone!!!!
Have you seen this movie? If so, what did you think of it?
P.S. Sorry I didn't post yesterday.... This post is to make up. :p
We are super sorry that we haven't been able posting anything, it's just that the last day of school is approaching very quickly and I still haven't finished all of my school just yet (but I'm going to make it and finish all of my school)!
So I just wanted to say that if we are not able to post anything this week or next, then that means we are super busy and we didn't have time to get a post in. But, when summer comes, we will be able to post on a normal basis.
Hope this explains the recent lack of posting! Thanks everyone for understanding!
We sincerely apologize for not blogging in so long! First, we have been sick with some unknown sickness (we don't know what caused it but we're are all better now) and when we're sick we can't look at the computer screen AT ALL. Next, we went to our nana's house (which takes 18 hours from where we live) and that takes two days, so, we stayed in the car for two days.... Then we had only one day to spend with our Nana before we had to go running on Saturday. We did a race and two years ago we did 9 minutes and 33 seconds for a mile. Then on Saturday we did 7 minutes and 28 seconds. IT WAS AMAZING! I felt so proud that we did 2 minutes less, Charisma was trying to slow down, but (hehehe) I wasn't going to let her.
Also we are SO sorry that I haven't been posting in 'My Writing Journey'. I've been just recovering from that sickness and I really didn't want to get on the computer. So yeah..... WE ARE BACK NOW!
(BTW, I'm not doing the gif any more at the end.)
Who We Are
We are twin sisters who like to do almost anything! Inspiring people to get out their creativity is our forte and we strive to travel on magnificent journey through words on a page. Exploration is the doorway to opportunity and the endless possibilities of helping and reaching out to others is something that we endeavor to create. This crazy blog of ours is one of the many ways we hope to achieve that goal.
So, you ready to get crazy?
Twisted Two - Every Monday
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.